A Blog a Day in May

Rainy Days

The Sun once told me not to run from the rain.

It told me to seek it.

To cherish it.

To never forget that, without the rain,

beauty misses out on its chance to grow.

Now, when the rain comes, I get my coat.

And I sit.

And I wait.

I wait until I am certain

that happily ever after

has begun again.

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A Blog a Day in May

The Bright Side

I’m a bright side girl, most days.

It’s the essence of me, I suppose; joy, love and all the sunny days, enough of all three to make a bright side girl thrive.

The thing is—

I’m not thriving. These days, for me, being the highly sensitive muffin that I am can come at a cost, a chemically imbalanced sort of cost.

In other words: sometimes, I get a bit sad.

As much as I love to sprinkle joyous stardust over this little bloggy land of mine, I’ll always be authentic in this place. I’ll never pretend to be happy when I’m not. And at the moment, I’ve got to admit: I am having a little trouble finding my sunshine.

But don’t worry. I’ll find it again. That’s just what I do.

Hopefully, I’ll bring it here tomorrow. But today, I’ve been quite the soft girl. Today I’ve been inside my walls and noticed the rain on the windows, more than anything else.

I will still try to make it through the month, posting every day, as promised, although I really do need to preface that with some reality— I may need to take a few days off here and there, so please forgive me, If I do.

Of course, I wouldn’t be me If I didn’t add some sort of a joyous twist to this little funk party I’ve got going on here, so I’ll tell you a lovely story. Just a short one.

Yesterday, while dropping my little boy at kinder, one of the beautiful Mum’s— a lovely friend who I very quickly found a connection with-— stopped me, with a lovely smile, and said hi. When she asked, I had to admit: actually, I’d been a little sad, and actually, I was feeling a little worried about it.

Well.

When I walked away from her beautiful hug, the world seemed just so peaceful again.

And later in the evening, when I noticed a beautifully wrapped hamper on my doorstep, filled with all sorts of goodies, and a beautiful card to cheer me up— I mean, it was the sweetest thing.

It’s the sort of magic that’s hidden in our humanity, isn’t it— the tender loving care of a friend in need. What a beautiful soul she is, to have been touched by my story and gone out of her way to reach out with loving arms. It’s quite clear to me that some people are here to show the rest of the world how to be: and she is one of them, absolutely.

Okay, my lovely friends. I’ll be off then. Time to give me some love, and my hubby and kids some great big ‘get happy’ cuddles.

And I’ll probably eat some chocolate, too. I’m not sure if chocolate’s the best thing for a girl whose body is ever so slightly chemically challenged…

But bugger it. I’m gonna do it anyway. 🙂

And I’m going to read!

Much love. xx Brooke

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Twelve Days of Christmas

Human Nature

On the ninth day of Christmas

I felt sadness inside of me

and I cried.

Who am I to keep sadness prisoner

inside these flimsy human walls of mine?

Sadness deserves freedom

just as much as joy does.

On the ninth day of Christmas,

I really was okay.

But even on okay days

sadness sometimes knocks

and asks to be let out.

Who am I to deny it that?

Who am I to resist my human nature?

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Life

Only Human

I’m not really okay, today.

And yesterday—

I wasn’t really okay then, either.

Yesterday, there were tears.

Feelings.

And yesterday I couldn’t see the sky, anymore.

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Maybe it’s hormones.

Or the rain.

Or maybe it’s just my broken bits screeching

Reminding me

That I am only human.

Or something like it, anyway.

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So.

For a day. Or two. Or three

I’ll probably still be this.

A little bit lost.

A little bit bamboozled.

A little bit wondering…

‘When will this tenderness seep back into my bones?’

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Yesterday I searched for a place to hide.

A place to feel safe.

But today, I’m just here

Feeling the ache and letting it…be.

Because what else is there to do?

This is life, after all.

And life is exactly what I’ve come here to do.

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Inspiration

We’ve Got This

It’s just come to me.

Like a roar straight from the heart of the lion.

We’ve got this.

We do.

We’ve got it.

See?

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I’m not going to lie.

Sometimes, I think:

‘Ah, crikey. I haven’t really got this. Have I?’

Nope.

Nopey. Nopey. Nope.

I-just-don’t.

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That’s when I remember.

Life is good, even when it’s bad.

Isn’t it?

Because bad wakes the lion in us.

Bad starts the fight.

For love. For dreams. For life.

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That’s why I reckon it’s okay that I say it:

We’ve got this.

We do.

And, guys. For the times we don’t got this…

We’ve still got this.

Because we’ve got each other.

We’ve always, always got each other.

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(If you think that maybe you really don’t got this…you are not alone. Please. Reach out for help. Reach for a friend. A neighbour. A professional. Reach anywhere. Someone will be there to take your hand, I promise, they will. So. Time to get googling for your local helpline. Because, actually…you really do got this. You do. And with a bit of help…you will remember how to roar again. )

xx Brooke

 

Poetry

The Rose

The rose began to wither, in
her heart of woven gold,
the ocean melted in her eyes
for stories never told.

The window shone the morning bright,
not once did she look there,
the darkness had become her and
the rose, at last, was bare.

The bluebirds flew about the day,
the air cut like a knife,
and all the while a single rose
lay weeping bloody life.

For no one knew the rose had died
and left a heart of black,
except the girl with ocean eyes;
a train run off the track.

The gardens coloured in the world
so full of joyous spring,
and daisies spread along the path
as death came wandering.

The children danced in rosie rings
while men laughed at the sky,
yet, there she lay upon the bed,
a light about to die.

And as the days became the years
her rose grew back once more,
a rose of black and white, this time;
a life unlike before.

-Brooke Cutler, 2018

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