that love is the better option.
that love is the better option.
We ate. We laughed. We drank wine. And then we sat under the moon and talked about life and love, about nature and the universe and how it all feels so magical and huge, sometimes. We talked about everything there was to talk about, and as we did, we connected all our inner cords and allowed each other to explore the world according to us.
This morning, after wearily rising to coffee and each other, once again I sat with my friends, this time around the breakfast table. The night before was for exploring. This morning, though, was for learning. Learning just how bloody beautiful humans can be when they are ‘there’ for each other. And I mean really there, unconditionally there.
I was getting through all the sad talk until that one inevitable moment struck me and the tears came. I had barely begun to cry when her arms wrapped around me. My beautiful friend—the girl that once gifted me a rather large lolly jar and labelled it: ‘Brooke’s Stash’. She won my heart entirely on that day, and I won a rather excellent jar that I still own to this day.
Anyway, back to this morning and how she held my pain in her arms and asked it to be hers for a while. What a ridiculously wonderful piece of human that was. It wasn’t just a hug. It was safety. It was love, and it was absolutely unconditional— a moment that will stay with me and our friendship just as long as that beautiful lolly jar of hers has.
Today I learned the true meaning of ‘holding space’ for someone. I learned that a hug needs to be fearless in order to be truly given, and taken, and cherished. And I learned that I need my friends, far more than I ever knew that I needed them.
I mean, really. How crazy, ugly, beautiful it is to be human.
To my dear bloggy friends,
I’m sorry it’s been so long since I checked in here with my actual voice. Truthfully, I’ve felt quite stuck in place, and really unable to move many places outside of the muddy waters of my head. I really am okay, though, and although I’ve still got quite the ways up the hill to travel: I’m getting there, one step at a time. I hope you can forgive my absence.
I was thinking of you all as I ran home from the lake, earlier, actually, and so I wanted to pop in and share my musings. I so appreciate the time you take to read my words and have them connect with the world you are creating inside of yourself. I’ve been searching for ‘boats like me’ this whole time. A tribe, to help me feel as though I belong somewhere.
Well. How about it when, pounding the pavement trying my best to not completely die, I realised…I’ve already found my tribe.
It’s all of you.
Isn’t that the most beautiful, wonderful thing?
I accidentally created my own tribe, and all this time I had no idea that’s what you were.
My tribe. My soul friends. I mean, really, that’s what you are isn’t it, and I think that is all the lovely things.
It occurred to me as I made my way back from the lake that even if we’ve never communicated: our energy connects as soon as you read my words and feel something. And according to the soft girl inside of me, the power of non-verbal communication (however invisible and abstract) is just as powerful a communication tool as the use of words. (How funny I’m saying that with actual words.)
And so it was that I discovered just exactly why this little bloggy land of mine has always felt so much like home.
It’s because it is. Home. To me and my tribe, my very bloggy family.
Thank you so much for allowing me to share a team with you, guys.
It really is the loveliest thing in the world.
To cast stones.
To stare down.
To withhold words.
It’s a wonder it still exists,
given we’ve all made mistakes.
Given we’re all human, and all of us
different. And entirely imperfect.
Empathy is the answer.
It can often be found under
the rock of unconsciousness.
But we will find it again,
say the hopeful
weary travellers of society’s
Up you get
and off you go.
Run when you can.
Walk when you need.
Love always and ever after.
In spite of it all.
When I cry,
I melt all the pieces
and we flow into the world
like the beautiful river we are,
Moon sat upon the edge of a cloud, dangling her feet in a manner of careless delight.
‘Sun?’ she said, as she casually tossed a star into the yellow of his shine.
‘Yes, Moon?’ Sun replied, careful to gaze at her just the way he knew she would like.
‘Do you believe in magic?’ Moon said, as she looked upon the Earth and imagined what wonder their joint rays might be producing below.
‘I believe in you, Moon.’
And with that, Sun smiled, knowing he’d given his precious Moon two answers in one.
And we will play
by the night shine of the sea
until we tumble into the knot
that was always meant to be.
I love how deep this heart of mine goes.
I love that if I love you, you know just how much and why.
I love that my feelings shine into the midnight sky.
Some might call this: overly sentimental.
I call it: my gift to the world.
Shall we unwrap it together?
I love that I am always learning about life and love, and all the things that fill me with yes!
I love that I am hungry. For everything. All of it.
Every day, even the grey ones.
Especially the grey ones, actually.
I love that I love.
I love that I love you.
I love that I love her, and him, and them, and that.
But I love that I truly love me, the most.
Because without loving me, I couldn’t love anyone else.
And what a horrible, terrible predicament that would be.
* Thank you so much for sticking by me through the tough times, my beautiful friends.
I’m doing okay, despite the grey days. I’ve been trying to fill my own joy pots as much as humanly possible, but also…I’m trying to feel the rain, too. I sense it is important to let the rain come. So I am. Whenever it needs to.
Moment by moment, day by day, life is happening. And for now, I’m okay to roll with it. I can’t wait to fill you with some more often bright and shiny love hearts when this heart of mine is all patched up once again.
Until then…so much love, gang.
xx Brooke *
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Living with a heart like mine is one of the greatest gifts imaginable. Living with a heart like mine is one of the greatest curses imaginable.
Being a highly empathic, highly sensitive person can be such a mixed bag. On one hand, I love so greatly it’s almost as though I can feel the smile of every human on the entire planet inside of my heart.
On the other hand, when my heart breaks…I feel quite as though I might die from the depth of its cracks. Thank goodness the pain always passes, and when it does, I can feel all over again the beautiful butterflies flying into my heart net.
There is no point to this blog post. Only to give you all my heart. Again. Because that’s what I do, and that’s what the world needs a little bit more of, I suppose.
Sorry for the nonsense blog post.
Soon I’ll write about a pirate ship adventure and true love under the silvery moon.
Or something like it, anyway.